enitharmon (
enitharmon) wrote2008-08-29 01:09 pm
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Entry tags:
Coping
Yeah, well, I'm pretty rubbish at coping, aren't I?
One setback and I turn into a gibbering wreck. Everything I've achieved over the years vanishes from sight. Paranoia seeps through the cracks in my shell. I get that old, old feeling that goes back to being at school, that the world is scrutinising me minutely, waiting for me to fail so that I can be publicly humiliated and made to recognise my worthlessness.
I need a survival strategy. I have one, in part. Running helps. So do long walks on the beach. Even though reading when I'm agitated is not easy, and writing is impossible because I feel the scrutiny of those eyes, waiting for the slip-up, doing the cross-stitch is soothing for short periods. But I need something else, I think.
Do others have a coping mechanism that they'd like to suggest?
One setback and I turn into a gibbering wreck. Everything I've achieved over the years vanishes from sight. Paranoia seeps through the cracks in my shell. I get that old, old feeling that goes back to being at school, that the world is scrutinising me minutely, waiting for me to fail so that I can be publicly humiliated and made to recognise my worthlessness.
I need a survival strategy. I have one, in part. Running helps. So do long walks on the beach. Even though reading when I'm agitated is not easy, and writing is impossible because I feel the scrutiny of those eyes, waiting for the slip-up, doing the cross-stitch is soothing for short periods. But I need something else, I think.
Do others have a coping mechanism that they'd like to suggest?
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When you said that you had nobody to go for a drink in the pub with I was going to offer (but I never did) - we could meet up in the middle somewhere (Lancaster?) - I have no friends in Manchester.*
I too can only knit straight rows. I could do knit one-purl one...but can't now remember and think I always used to get confused anyway. I have only ever knitted scarves.
*Except now Niall (don't hate me but I love him).
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I know Niall is not my number one fan exactly but I have no axe to grind with him, so no problem there.